posted 08-21-2001 07:06 PM PT (US)
Rimmer: Lister, they are Simulants. Why on Io should they have food supplies?
Lister: Because the Ident Computer says they do. Look! Stocked to the gills.
Kryten: It's true, Sir. Rogue Simulants always carry large stocks of food supplies in order to prolong the torment of their torture victims. In some cases, they've kept subjects alive for over forty years in a state of perpetual agony.
Rimmer: If we wanted to live in a state of perpetual agony, we'd let Lister play his guitar. We don't - I say drive on.
Lister: Kryten, what's for dinner?
Kryten: Er, tonight Sir? Asteroidal lichen stew, followed by dandelion sorbet.
Lister: We're goin' in.
Kryten: Sir, can't you see your behaviour is totally irrational?
Rimmer: In which case we can remove him from duty, as per Space Core Directive 196156.
Kryten: 196156? Any Officer caught sniffing the saddle of the exercise bicycle in the Women's Gym will be discharged without trial? Hmm. Sorry Sir, that doesn't quite get to the nub of the matter for me.
Kryten: Sir, we have enough thistles and weeds and culture fungus for you to scrum yourselves stupid until the day you die. This foolhardy trip beggars logic!
Rimmer: Lister, we'd be fools not to listen to him. When is he ever wrong? All right, he may have a head shaped like an inexpicably popular fishing float, but he does operate from a position of total logic. And we'd be fools to ignore his sage council.
Kryten: At least let me and Mr Rimmer go in your place. We are after all, merely electronic life-forms and therefore expendable.
Rimmer: And what the smeg would you know, bog-bot from Hell?