posted 07-10-2002 04:46 PM PT (US)
Top 10 things to do to telemarketers!
10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad
you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these
problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just
9. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to
spell their name.
Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is
located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their
company for as long as necessary.
8. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how
have you been?"
Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she
tries to figure out where the h-l she could know you from.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and
Friends Plan, reply, in
as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends ....would
you be my friend?"
6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for
bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
5. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask
if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips.
4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry
you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just
give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them
if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back.
When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME
number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home,
The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!"
Say good bye
- and Hang up.
2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a
joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
1. And first and foremost: Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because
you want to write EVERY WORD down.
posted 07-12-2002 12:59 AM PT (US)
If you want to waste your time and really annoy a telemarketer, just go along with what they say, talk for hours and hours and hours, then don't buy. That's their worst case scenerio.
When I've done telemarketing in the past, my technique always was to get off of the phone as quickly as possible. If a potential client wanted to discuss the sale or purchase of their new home, they had to prove to me very quickly that talking to them was going to be worth my time.