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Author
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Topic: Valentines day and why I hate it
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MissNugget |
posted 02-11-2004 06:33 AM PT (US)  
Every year Valentines Day gives me a headache. I start to worry. Not about if I'm going to receive any cards this saturday or not, but I start to worry about what to buy or to buy anything at all. My boyfriend and I both agreed Valentines Day is crap because the stores just want to make money out of it, and we both agreed we should just be together this saturday and not buy eachother gifts or send eachother cards because we already know we love eachother. Awwww, so sweet, yeah, I know... BUT:
This morning I started to worry.
What if some girl sends him a Valentines card? Then I didn't, and I would feel bad. And what if he DOES buy me a card or a gift, because I know him, and there is a big change he will, then I didn't buy HIM a present, and I would feel bad. AND. (This is getting complicated, I know haha) What if I DO buy HIM a gift or send him a card, but he DIDN'T buy me anything. Then HE feels bad about me giving him a gift, but him not giving me a gift.
SOS! SOS!
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Faith
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posted 02-11-2004 07:33 AM PT (US)
Its not about gifts or money,its about doing somethin to show that you like and love him and that you care. That can be done in many many ways and it doesnt need to cost, just make it a special day and you both will feel good ;) |
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MissNugget
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posted 02-12-2004 01:32 AM PT (US)
Thanks for the reply, Faith!
Maybe you're right, some (valentine-)gifts don't always need to cost money. I think I'll just take your advice and make this saturday a special day for the both of us :-)Phew, headache's gone. |
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Ouroboros
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posted 02-12-2004 10:41 AM PT (US)
Or you could use a strategy. For instance:Buy him a gift, wrap it, have it ready to go at all times. But don't give it to him. Then, if he surprises you with something, VOILA!, you can quickly return the favor. If, on the other hand, he doesn't give you anything, you can take the gift back to the store for a refund. Holiday gift giving is a complicated matter. It seems to me, though, that one very appropriate first step is to decline to participate materially in any externally imposed holiday that involves the purchasing of gifts. Just flat out tell people, "I don't do that", then thank them politely if they give you gifts, but don't feel bad about not returning the "favor" ("favor" was in quotes, since you probably didn't want to be burdened with whatever they saddled with you as a gift). Once you've done that, then you can start from scratch to decide whether the concept of holidays is worthwhile at all to you, personally, and then if you decide that they are you can use personal holidays, that you've come up with yourself and for your own reasons, rather than having someone else's calendar thrust them upon you. That's my take, anyway, and I'm making some good progress down step 1. |
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slowIQ
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posted 02-13-2004 03:08 PM PT (US)
I knew someone,, once,... there is a word that they say, once upon valentines day. Tis not a riddle nor rhyme just a word, i heard they say.
I have read, of this word, sent in letters to be heard, but never, have I given for I did not know to listen.
So now,.. in awe of what little I know, by the stories often told, I will listen; I will listen, to every letter, every word. and to you, to whom were given words, should they seek for some other, lesser return? Then speak with all you feel for this is all,.....
pray all not be nil.. wait though.. endings sad?, for what of the stories I heard? if give not I, this Valentine, then nothing have I to loose, yet if give do I, the words of heart and mind.. then I have spoken all I hoped, and I am glad |
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zzilly14
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posted 02-14-2004 09:33 AM PT (US)
Gift giving shouldn't be done because you feel obligated once someone gives you something. It should be done because you really care for that person and/or love them and WANT to. We shouldn't feel bad if we get a gift and didn't give them in something in return (but we do anyway).If you really want to give your boyfriend something, do it. Get him something. And he if ends up not getting you anything, let him know that it doesn't matter, and he shouldn't feel bad, because you know he cares for you. If you want, here's an idea - make him a card. Don't buy one, just take some construction paper and decorate it and give it to him. Or if you're a good singer sing him a song. You don't need to buy something to give him something for Valentine's Day... write him a poem if you're a good writer, etc. etc. Just some ideas. Have fun today, and Happy Valentine's Day! |
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Ouroboros
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posted 02-14-2004 12:57 PM PT (US)
Thing.
Thing a thong.
Make it thimple.
To lathd the whole day long.... |
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